I have been asking myself lately, "what matter's the most?" So really What matter's? Who give's? Is life really about all this he said she said crap that some people dwell on? Is what other people say about you really that important? Does anything really concern you if its not your home? Is your day filled with being concerned with other people? Are you stepping over the imaginary line of whats "to far"?
All of these questions really were playing over and over in my head at my churches women's conference Delight a few weeks ago. I got so much out of it I felt it was necessary to devulge into it a little deeper.
There is a certain boundary in each and every single relationship, marriage , friendship, parents, children, siblings, ex spouses, and bosses. There is a healthy understanding that under God's authority EACH person is responsible for their OWN thoughts, feelings and actions, and that this same GOD has called to love one another. Galatians 6: 2;5 and Psalm 16: 5-7 are great places to see this.
NO ONE should be putting their input into someone else's business. Its unhealthy to do this whether its beckoned or not. It creates an animosity of such between the relationship where one person is always the carrier and the other is the passer (Rescuer/dependent).
Its says in Matthew 11: 28-30 and Romans 12:15 that we should have healthy boundaries.
The main thing the teacher taught was to understand what role you typically take, such as the passer or the carrier. Then to set up a boundary in the relationship. Give your burdens to God. CHECK YOUR MOTIVES. are you giving your input or advise because you feel that your opinion should be heard, or are you giving it because GOD has called you to do so. Are you passing your problem because you dont want to deal with it, or because GOd has told you to seek help?
Next step is to learn to Say NO!. That being to say no to someones constant need for help, or say no to frantic emotions regarding something that has nothing to do with you or your business.
Be honest and have that conversation with someone, Set the limits in your relationships.
I for one think that I took a lot from this lesson. I have learned that I am a rescuer/carrier in a lot of ways. I feel like I am always the one that has to be strong and work through things with people. I also know that because I have dealt with a lot in my life that I tend to embrace that role good and bad. I tend to give advice when its asked and when it is not. I also have a few times that i am the passer.
I feel that in order to have a healty relationship you need to understand your boundaries. Dont cross the line were your opinion or need invades the other person too far!
Love to all
L
